Life so far, it's been filled with so many choices, and mine, is filled with a lot of disheartening people. More now than ever I've been knocked down to the cold, hard concrete where I know I so righteously belong, nobody oppose that; please. I know it as well as you that I'm one hard headed and one hell of an unpleasant person to be around sometimes. Now this isn't a bitch and moan journal. It's just, a review, what I've been thinking about. Should I do what I've been thinking about? It's confidential, but still...have you just ever been afraid of; "if I do this will it ruin me, or give my life meaning?"

I just can't help but think that I will end up having a horrible life in the end, or maybe it'll be amazing, I just don't know. Uncertainty gets the best of us, and clouds our judgement. I just, will what I want to do be successful? Will those who "say" be my friends in the end? Or is everyone giving me an empty promise? Now you can toot your horn and say "oh but Krystal, we're great friends, I'd never leave you." but in all reality just, think about it. How do you know that anyone of you will grow apart from me? Nothing is certain.

Like; I'm not groping for help or anything, I'm not depressed or angry, just, wanting to know. Curious if I may.

Just, ask yourself, "Will I be friends with this girl a couple years from now?"
Will I lose it all...? Or will I gain something?

Do you trust me to be able to talk to when times are rough? Will you be there to listen to my plight when I need someone to cry to? Are you there to follow what you must, even if that means losing me forever..?

I am just, so uncertain, that I just can't think straight anymore...maybe it's time I finally quit, or maybe I should push myself harder...stay still where I'm at. I don't know, and probably will never know. Not until it's too late.

Anyone have anything to say..?